written by Patty Sherry
“Treat others how you want to be treated,” this is what I learned growing up.
Be loving, kind, loyal, and nurturing, and people will treat me this way too. Believing this is a logical conclusion.
But I have been all of these things with some people, and yet they were not so loving or loyal toward me.
I was invited to be a Relationships expert on a new website called wizpert, where callers can seek advice about their relationship issues, and I’ve had many calls from people about this issue.
Callers would tell me, “ I’ve been so loving and understanding, why is he treating me this way?”
“What’s wrong with me, why am I not good enough for them?”
“ I do so much for him/her…..and I don’t understand!”
Callers would describe their relationship as being very one-sided. They were the ones giving, and not receiving much back. Often they would conclude with, “…. I really love him, but I just wish he would treat me better!”
If you want love, first you must give it to yourself.
This has been my own life lesson, and I have shared it with my callers. The other day a young woman asked me to define what this meant.
I shared that we teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. If I do not value my own happiness, and I constantly put someone else’s happiness above my own, all in the name of “being loving”, I am not being very loving toward myself.
If someone shows me by their actions that they do not value me, or that they are not concerned about my happiness, then continuing to give and give to this person is NOT giving very much to myself.
I was taught to be a ‘giving” person, but I was not taught to be very giving to myself.
But I have evolved to be more giving to myself.
At first my actions really upset the apple cart, I stopped being the same old Patty, in some cases I stopped interacting with people or I removed myself from situations.
When I pushed past people’s remarks, when I ignored their assumptions or how they may have analyzed me, and when I let go of their dislikes of my actions, life had a way of unfolding for me.
I am a more loving person to myself, and people came into my life and mirrored this love back to me. This mirror has been my confirmation.
If you want love, you must give it to yourself first.
With Love & Fireworks,